I forced myself to get up and make cranberry relish (a task that required a brisk walk to buy sugar at the overpriced neighborhood market), and I felt slightly less worthless for a few minutes after managing to do that one thing. But now I’m back in bed, reading and hearing about other people’s grand plans and accomplishments, wondering if I will ever have the energy and desire to do anything again. Having a cold is a good excuse to stay inactive, but I fear that I will be well tomorrow.
If I had a crocheting project, I could happily work on that for hours, or at least until my hands, with their arthritis and Dupuytren’s contractures, resigned in protest. It sucks to have frittered your life away and then realize that you couldn’t make up for all that lost time even if you wanted to, even if you lived another 40 years, because your body has exceeded its useful life. So yesterday I decided to look for an innovative anti-aging study that I could participate in.
The most intriguing research I found involves the vampiresque notion of injecting young plasma into old people. I was all ready to sign up until I learned that this study has some serious downsides. While most clinical trials don’t charge any fees to participate, and many even offer monetary compensation, this transfusion study costs each participant $8,000.
It might be worth the money if there were any proof that the technique works. Normally that’s the point of a clinical trial: to see if something works before you start making people pay for it. But these days more and more companies are charging people to undergo experimental procedures.
One person who has no problem with the pay-to-play model is libertarian Trump aficionado Peter Thiel. He’s very excited about the young-blood study, and that’s another reason why I’m not.
Even if I had strong, healthy hands, I think that making something out of yarn would be a little like fiddling on the Titanic (or choose your own mixed metaphor). Sure, I’d be a bit happier for a while, but the world and my mind and my life would all still be very troubled places.