My main reason for consulting a psychotherapist was the debilitating tendency I have to (1) assume that others think I’m a bad person and (2) adopt whatever attitude they have (or that I imagine they have) toward myself. After several intensive sessions with K, for which my insurance paid only a small amount, I felt that I had a much healthier relationship with myself and the world at large. At our last session we discussed whether I should continue seeing her; I made an appointment for another visit, with the understanding that I might decide to cancel.
On Monday morning this week I sent K an email to say that I would not be attending our Thursday session. When I got no response to that message, I called Tuesday morning and left her voicemail. It seems very unlikely that she didn’t get either message, but she has not responded in any way. This behavior doesn’t match her previous pattern of responding to all email and phone messages (plus there’s a small financial matter that she knows we need to resolve), so I’ve created various fantasy scenarios to explain her ignoring me:
- She’s so angry with me for discontinuing therapy, and for giving her only 3 days’ notice of my cancelation, that she refuses to communicate with me.
- She’s so greedy that she’s concocted a scheme to bring me back: she knows that I will create from her silence a worst-case scenario in which she hates me, basically undoing whatever good came of our time together, to the point that I’ll go running back to her for help.
- She’s so dishonest that she figures she can bill me for the missed session and say she never got my notice of cancelation.
Then of course there’s the one in which she was run over by a truck and is therefore unable to answer anyone’s messages, but that one seems the least plausible. In all likelihood she’s merely exhibiting passive-aggressive behavior, and it’s better that I learned this about her now than after paying her another $1,000.
Next up: how to explain the sudden silence of a real estate broker that was going to help me find a house. It must have been something I said.